I am sick, my mental health is drowning. Because of my catastrophic thinking. A lot of happened today. This is so hard, I could barely handle it. My motivation is just to overcome day by day and write a productive result. I am aware that I made a lot of mistakes, but that's what the PhD do right? making a lot of mistakes. Not a perfection. If it is perfect already. I am now a doctor, not a student. I am aware that my mental health is not good enough. Many things happens and change at the same time. I even don't want to dare where I am in the next couple of month. Ya Allah forgive me, forgive me, forgive me. Whatever I do, whatever I drive, I could handle this. I could face the situation. The CoC, it is so easy for Allah swt to get me to be here with my family. Let alone the whole PhD and thesis journey. Of course I can, take care of myself.
The learning curve here is amazing. I am not knowing anything. Here be good for everyone. For the sake of I could not fail. I don't dare to fail. I could success. Ya Allah swt. please help me. It is important to take notes. take feed back they are very good. I am sure that I can handle this. More or less. they are very very kind person. Do not ever think you are gonna be failed. You are gonna be successed. The first mantra in the morning is: I can success. I can write well. I can organize my thinking well. I am aware of this and will be aware of what coming next. I am sure I can do it. I could handle this. This is very easy with the help of Allah SWT.
This is the time when Allah swt said, you can do it. You are here, you can achieve it, with His blessing. I am sure that this impostor syndorme will overcome. I am the master of myself. I am ready to face my future. Avina Nadhila Widarsa, PhD from IR Bell School ANU. Insya Allah
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